The rapid and advance communication technology can still take care of that huge and desolate loneliness in our hearts.
I suddenly wanted to ask the interrupted audience what to say, and I wanted to call him. In fact, in that case, the host would be panicked, so in the end, allin didn’t even have a chance to speak directly. Then I saw the numbers on both sides beating and beating on the screen.
I want to talk about this kind of loneliness, because people have no chance to face themselves, and they are repeatedly stimulated to throw away their hearts but talk to themselves.
Volume one, lust and loneliness
People are afraid of loneliness
I want to say that there is nothing wrong with loneliness. Loneliness becomes bad because you are afraid of loneliness.
When you are driven by loneliness to find a way to stay away from loneliness, you will be in a terrible state, because it is difficult for others to get along with others. Getting along with others will make you feel a great sense of emptiness and make you tell yourself that I am lonely and I am lonely. I have to break this loneliness. You have forgotten that trying to break loneliness quickly is the cause of great loneliness.
Loneliness is different at different ages.
All my friends at my age had a secret crush on someone in the middle ages for many years. The other person’s unconscious experience was to write poems and diaries to express their feelings. It is hard to imagine that the words in the diaries would be so slender and beautiful at that time, because it took a long time for us to describe our secret crush one by one. Is this an unhappy and unsatisfied lust? I’m afraid it’s not necessarily true now that I look back. We are in love with ourselves.
For many people, the first object of love is that they have developed their beautiful side in the process of unrequited love, and then they will stare blankly in the shade and want to know what life is, and they will wear more clothes and walk past the unrequited love, hoping to be noticed. I mean, when you have a crush on someone, your life is changing and developing from it to perfect me.
A few years ago, when I was a master, a girl came to class every day with eyes that didn’t get enough sleep. She told me that she had four identities at the same time, each role had a different name and code, and people had different personalities. I was curious to know this way of making friends with young people. I would contact the brain and contribute to her.
Lust loneliness is qualitative and good or bad. Lust is something that will never change. You are eager for another body to know more about hugging or loving you after physical development. Your name can be because people come to be lonely. Plato wrote fables more than 2,000 years ago. Everyone is split in two. An endless individual is looking for the other half all his life, but he may not find it because there are too many people who have been split.
When you find it, you think you will never find Plato in a feast. This great fable says that loneliness is human nature.
For a long time, we all tried to find the other half, because once in a lifetime, we can recognize whether it is right or not, but now it’s different. I gave birth to her in four identities, and she thinks she has made great efforts to find the most suitable half, but I wonder if it is because she has more opportunities than me.
I mean, I can find one identity once in my life. Now she has got four wrong identities, and she can throw them away at any time. Does it mean that she has more opportunities? I can’t count them, but I believe that everyone in Plato’s fable is split in half. Although different cultures and philosophers have different interpretations of this problem, loneliness is definitely an unavoidable proposition in our life.
Where I come from
Later, I will also talk about the loneliness meeting in China. Confucian culture is the most reluctant to talk about loneliness. It means that the five ethics means that the monarch, the monarch and the minister. The father and the father are all expounding the surrounding life after a life is born. We call it relative ethics. We can’t talk about loneliness. People who feel lonely in Confucian culture mean that they are never finished being fathers, loving brothers, friends, brothers, respectful couples, so they should not feel lonely in their fathers, brothers and couples.
However, do you also think that the Confucian definition of ethics is an external form, that is, if you can find something wrong once, you can’t find it again, instead of the deepest and most desolate loneliness in your heart?
I can feel very lonely in front of my parents. I think this is an angry Confucian statement, but it is true. In my adolescence, the loneliest moment I felt was when my parents talked, because they didn’t understand what I was saying, and I couldn’t understand what they were saying, which did not involve the question of whether I loved my parents or whether my parents loved me.
Before I was twelve years old, I could listen to their language or they could listen to my language, but after I developed, I would secretly read some, listen to some music and watch some movies, but I was afraid to tell them again. It seems that I suddenly embraced another world, which is private. I can touch the quality of life here, but I can’t find these things in my parents’ world.
I tried to break the taboo, and when my mother was busy preparing dinner, I walked around her and asked where we came from. Of course, my mother wouldn’t answer questions in person at that time, but she would say that she would get the answer if she picked it up. If she asked again, her mother would impatiently say that it grew in her armpit.
In fact, when I was thirteen years old, I asked not where I came from, but where I came from and where I was going. It was a matter of life and death. I still remember that my diary was full of such fanciful sentences. One day, my mother suddenly understood, and she said seriously with a straight face, don’t be paranoid.
This is the earliest question about loneliness in life, and I feel this loneliness.
Asking questions was immediately cut off.
Because in Confucian culture, there is no place for loneliness in unified parenting.
I become strange. If I don’t come to my room, my mother will find an opportunity to knock on the door for a cup of hot water or I stew chicken soup to drink it. She will never feel lonely is important, but she feels lonely is dangerous because she doesn’t know what I am doing in my room.
For adolescence, loneliness is a desire for me to talk to myself or explore my life from reading a novel, but adults are speculating outside the room whether the child is sick, whether he is ill or not, and why not come.
Zhang Ailing is a great writer. She said that when you get up at five or six o’clock in the morning in China, it means that you can’t understand Zhang Ailing’s novels before you do bad things at home. But that’s why she grew up in. Friends of my age also live in small towns or villages, and everyone should visit us. It’s never like now. It’s inconvenient to ask us before visiting friends. My predecessors wouldn’t ask me this. I remember that when my aunt came to see her mother, she called her mother from the alley to pick them up.
Confucian culture doesn’t talk about privacy, and it doesn’t pay attention to personal privacy. From many novels, including Zhang Ailing, the parents of newlyweds live together. They don’t even dare to pronounce late sex, and none of them are allowed to be private.
Culture is certainly not lonely.
Therefore, I want to talk about not eliminating loneliness, but completing loneliness, giving loneliness and respecting loneliness.
Volume 1 Lust and Loneliness 3
Loneliness is not allowed
Many people think that Confucian culture has gradually disappeared, but I don’t think so. Today, if loneliness is still unknown to the public, if personal privacy can be made public in the media, it means that Confucian culture is still far behind. I rarely see personal privacy in European meetings, which means that Europeans respect loneliness and divide the public and private spheres very clearly. At the same time, they also require everyone to bear their own loneliness.
We can look at this problem from two aspects. On the one hand, we don’t allow others to be lonely. On the other hand, we are afraid of loneliness. We have to pull others out of loneliness to accept public inspection. At the same time, we are also afraid of loneliness and are constantly forced to declare that I am not lonely.
In 1949, the mainland experienced an earth-shaking revolution. In the 1970s, when I went to Europe to study, I met many students from the mainland. They were all in the mainland in the 1950s and 1960s. They told me not to be the first speaker in the anti-rightist movement. The last speaker only spoke when he knew the meaning of the group, and he could not be the last one because he was easily criticized.
This is a very typical Confucianism. No one dares to be independent. Everyone abides by the golden mean, neither being the first nor being the last. Praise of Confucianism is a kind of group culture. I want to declare in particular that it is not that it is not good to praise the group culture. Confucianism is based on agriculture. A certain group refers to that everyone must abide by some rules to make their living conditions, especially in poor agricultural associations. If they are independent, they will be condemned by the group.
The May 4th Movement is a very important watershed in modern times, which represents the awakening process of human nature. We call it the vernacular movement, but I don’t think it’s so simple. It discusses the basis of changing human values, that is, fighting against Confucian cultural opposition groups. The May 4th Movement shouted two slogans, Mr. De Desai, where Mr. De deray originated from Greek, which means that a very small number of individuals should be respected. This is the foundation of democracy, but don’t say that one is one-third or the other two-thirds.
Lu Xun is an important novelist in the May 4th Movement. His novels are all about a lonely madman who is in pain when facing group pressure. The protagonist in his diary is going crazy. He accused the village of eating people from three men talking about a woman’s chastity to a group of men talking about a woman’s chastity. In the end, he gave her a knife and rope poison in the ancestral temple without passing the legal trial and told her to end it. This is that the public power of the group is far greater than the law.
In the 1920s, Shen Congwen also published a great novel about a beautiful and sunny day. A man and a woman were walking along the road, holding hands, and when they got a little closer, they were accused by the villagers of being immoral. When they went to see the county grandfather, they decided that you were married to a dog man and a woman. This was a Dong couple, not as oppressive as the Han people.
When they are in love, they will sing, dance and hold hands. It will be ridiculous for us to read Shen Congwen’s story now. Actually, the villagers will go to great lengths to prepare to cut down the dog man and woman with knives and axes, and finally find out that they are husband and wife.
Against group culture
I have already found many friends uncomfortable when they first arrived in Paris. The Paris subway has four seats facing each other. You can often see couples kissing each other warmly, but you can even see saliva involved, but you have to pretend that you can’t see it because it’s their private field. Do you think it’s your fault or not?
Every time I see this scene, I think of Shen Congwen’s novels, which are different cultures’ interpretations of loneliness.
In Greek mythology, Prometheus Preheus broke the taboo of the gods of the Olympic Mountain and brought fire to people, so he was punished by Zeus. He was chained to a rock. In the morning, the eagle would tear his chest with its claws and chew on his heart and lungs. In the late wound, he recovered and his heart and lungs grew new. He endured the pain of hunting day after day. This is a tragic hero in Greek mythology. However, in reality, we never think that a person who was killed because of his maverick is a good person.
Written in Lu Xun’s novel medicine is the story of Qiu Jin. At that time, a child in the village had lung disease. The villagers believed that the only way to cure lung disease was to dip the steamed bread in the blood of the person who had just been beheaded. In contrast, this novel was thrilling.
On the one hand, people who hope to change will be beheaded for public display, on the other hand, ignorant people will take a hot steamed bread to dip in blood and go back to give it to their children to eat. I believe that the May Fourth Movement will confront this kind of thing that lies in the amazing ignorance of group culture. Is it worthwhile for Qiu Jin to go to the execution ground? Can her blood help a child with tuberculosis?
Lu Xun’s novels, madman’s diaries, medicines, etc. are all touching the society to suppress loneliness. His prose is more lonely. Restaurants, etc. are all lonely. Lu Xun is an extremely lonely person. He has been escaping from the group. We see that he is a writer. The most important thing is that he wants to be independent. Because his fame has influenced so many people, he was first published in the new youth magazine. This group of people supported him as a flag-bearer, but loneliness cannot be a flag-bearer. Once he becomes a flag-bearer, it will become a contradiction with a group of